Risk Factors for Problems in a Ukrainian-Western Relationship

Dear friends,

There are indeed some problems that can arise between Ukrainian and Western partners in a cross-cultural relationship and marriage. From my personal experience with an intercultural relationship, I know that there are some big risk factors for problems in a Ukrainian-Western relationship. Today, we discuss some of the most important risk factors in order to avoid these problems in your relationship with a Ukrainian/Russian woman.

One thing that Western men should do before getting online to find a Ukrainian woman for marriage is to take the time to study their culture first. Knowing what to expect can save a lot of headaches and problems. It takes time to adjust to different cultures and mindsets. It is well worth your time to explore the cultural differences between diving in.

One of the most common is that Ukrainian and Russian women always expect to be invited. They also expect the man to pay for the entire date. Western men today are far more liberated to that and some of them find these Ukrainian values a bit offensive. Dating in America is much different from overseas. American women are much more independent and are used to paying their own way. They have no problem splitting the bill for their dates and some will pay for the whole date themselves.

The communication between a Ukrainian woman and a Western man can pose another problem. People in America grow up watching arguments and disagreements being fought in a totally different way than their eastern counterparts. The value systems differ quite a bit in specific areas. This is true personally as well as socially.

Religious differences are another type of the risk factors for problems in a Ukrainian
-Western relationship. Not sharing the same beliefs can really put a broad gap between you and your potential mate. It takes two very understanding people to ever bridge this gap.

You might run into someone who has children from a previous marriage. Or else you could be the one with the kids. Whichever way it is, this too can cause problems. Getting to know the kids and loving them takes time for the partner who is meeting them now for the first time.

One of the all-time causes of divorce and separations as well as arguments are finances. Financial problems can always cause a riff between a couple who is trying to get settled and start a new life together.

Another risk factor for problems in a Ukrainian-Western relationship is when the couple tries to get together too soon and have not really formed a deep commitment to one another. This makes it much easier to let go whenever things get tough and discouraging. A deep commitment is what causes relationships to last and stay the course.

Even the beliefs about what a marriage should be and what it should be like can be quite different when you marry across ponds. Western men and Ukrainian women have been raised quite differently. This creates a lot of spaces for needing compromise and understanding. The attitudes toward various things are just very far apart. It takes working together to form the kind of bond that is going to last.

A common factor for ending up in a divorce that is common to both situations, whether it is American couples, or Ukrainian couples, or a mixture, is marrying at too young of an age. So many times young people feel like they are so in love that nothing will ever separate them. Then as time passes and they become wiser their whole attitude changes concerning this belief.

If you are considering looking for a partner from another country, then it is a wise idea to familiarize yourself with their culture and make sure it is what you want and what you can live with. As you can see, there are plenty of risk factors for problems in a Ukrainian-Western relationship. Your woman from Ukraine and you should work hard on your relatioship. But the result is more than great!… Believe me – I know that from my personal intercultural dating experience.  This work is worth it!

Guys, Do you Really Want Only „One Thing“ from Ukrainian Women?

Dear friends,

I’ll start my new blogpost by bringing you an example of a bad message a Western man can write to his Ukrainian girl:

„I sent you some photos and a letter but I have not heard back from you. I would also love to chat with you here or on another messenger. I love your beautiful mind, your sexuality and you long lovely legs.
Kisses…“

Almost every day I read through various forum posts in which Russian and Ukrainian women exchange their experiences in relationships with Western men. I also want to know what problems single women from Russia and Ukraine have with the Western culture, traditions, mentality as well as intercultural relationships.

I’ve recently come across an interesting discussion of the women who wonder, whether it’s just a sexual relationship with a beautiful Ukrainian or Russian woman that Western men are looking for.

The woman confessed that many Western men she’d met through International dating sites asked her if she could send them her nude pictures. Speaking from my dating experience, I, too, can say that a few gentlemen asked me to send them “sexy pictures” of myself. I must say honestly, these requests did not make me happy. Moreover, I was deeply offended by that and I felt like a piece of meat.

I’ve already written that Ukrainian and Russian women on the Internet have a personality and character. They have feelings and emotions. Therefore, you have to respect them. It means that you, dear gentlemen, must have patience and find time to get to know them better. The important step to intimacy will take place someday and this should be something special to the both of you.

Many women say that they ignore such requests and want no contact with such men. And believe me, Ukrainian and Russian women for marriage do not want to see any naked pictures of youselves.

My advice is act like gentlemen and do not ask for nude pictures if you dream about a serious relationship with a Ukrainian lady. I know that not everyone makes such a thing but there are still those men who think that such a request is something normal to do. No, no, no! My second piece of advice regarding the Ukrainian dating is not to write about sexuality of women, your erotic fantasies and dreams. Believe me, this does not work!!!

If you do not know what you should write about, just ask me. I’ll give you tips on how to write and communicate with Ukrainian and Russian ladies the right way.

Do All Ukraine Women Only Use Western Men?

Dear friends,

Today I want to tell a story. A few days ago, I found a very hot discussion at Russian-Women-Forum.com (see here: http://www.russian-women-forum.com/viewforum/FIRST -CONTACT/DONT-DO-IT.html). What is this discussion about? Well, one Western man claims that Russian and Ukrainian women want only to use Western men and do not look for a real love abroad.

BrentBurnedInCA says:

“DONT DO IT!

I married a “model quality” woman named Irina. We were married for 7 years, with one child. I sponsored her parents for permanent resident visas. The very day that she received word from her father that they received their visas, she started cheating on me. We knew six other Russian woman / American man couples. Only one of them is still married, and she is threatening divorce. The girls all know how generous divorce settlements are, and they plan on them. They want at least one kid to assure child support payments.

Bottom line: they are from a land where morality doesn’t exist. Cheating on a man is just no big deal to them. Lying is OK for them, but bad for everyone else. Double standards and refusal to accept responsibility like you have never seen. It is all about exchanging sex for a better life – nothing more.

Buyer beware! ”

I disagree. Thats why I would like to tell you the story that shows that Ukraine women as well as Western men have different goals in Ukrainian online dating.

Several years ago my dear friend Tom set off on a Ukrainian adventure tour, the purpose of which was to meet cultured, young Ukraine women for marriage. During the course of his “adventure” he met and took am interest in a 25 year old divorcee, Olga. I neglected to mention that Tom was 65 at the time.

Tom and Olga paired off and became a couple for the three remaining weeks of Tom’s visit to Ukraine. Paired off is not an accurate description. Olga insisted that her friend Katrina accompany them on all outings and serve as an interpreter and a chaperone of sorts. She was also an attractive young woman. All three parties got along famously, and an enjoyable time was had by all.

Before Tom left for the states, Olga took him to meet her parents, both of whom were significantly younger than he. Olga told him of the hardships her parents faced. Tom responded sympathetically by buying her parents an expensive washer and dryer along with a new TV and a month’s supply of groceries. Once home, he sent her father a number of expensive suits he hadn’t worn since his retirement.

Tom and Olga spent considerable time emailing one another on the laptop he gave her. The relationship bloomed over the Internet. Soon the couple was making plans to meet again for a hopefully romantic holiday in St. Petersburg. Tom made arrangements at the swankiest hotel in the city and sent Olga money for her trip. When they met in, a surprise awaited him.

Katrina had joined the party and her and Olga were sharing a room. Tom’s idea of a comfortable love nest for two was shattered. Irregardless, the three-some enjoyed their days in St. Petersburg. Tom bought expensive outfits for both girls and treated them to a great time. Upon departure, Olga announced that she truly was not interested in pursuing the relation ship any further.

Having spent several thousand dollars on her, and several more for the trip Tom returned home with a deflated ego. Several weeks later he got an email from Katrina, the interpreter who expressed interest in beginning a new relationship. Bill took her up on it. I have lost track of how many trips abroad he has taken to be with Katrina, but there have been several over the past five years. Tom is now 71. He enjoys meeting his paramour once or twice a year in exotic places like Paris, Istanbul and Vienna. He gets great satisfaction from strolls on the boulevards in romantic places with a 30 year old beauty on his arm, drawing stares from envious male on- lookers and scornful females. That is his reward. The trips and gifts are hers.

Tom’s goal, he tells me, never was to seek out Ukraine women for marriage, only for an exotic, no strings attached relationship. Hers was the exitement of travel and adventure with a safe, wealthy American. Who is the user? Who is being used? Looks like a draw to me.

The best places in Ukraine to meet Ukrainian women for marriage

Dear Gentlemen,

many of my readers ask me where in Ukraine they can find the right Ukrainian woman for life without any help of dating and marriage agencies (as you know, they can be so expensive!!!). Is that even possible? Today, I try to find an answer to this hot and maybe a little bit complicated question…

I’ve been thinking and looking for the suitable locations and cities in Ukraine where you can find a Ukrainian woman for marriage. Are streets, bars, clubs, cafes, trade centers or beach the best places to meet your dream woman from Ukraine?

In my opinion, when looking for the best places in Kiev to meet Ukrainian women for marriage, it is unlikely that the type of girl a guy from the West is going to want to marry will be hanging out in a bar or club. It’s true there are some lovely Ukrainian girls to get to know but like everywhere else there are also opportunists. The opportunist will want a chance to live and work outside of her country and chances are as soon as she has got the paperwork she is looking to get you won’t see her anymore. That is an opportunist.

For the guy who is serious about finding a nice Ukrainian girl they need to go through a screening process. In my opinion, the best way to do this is to contact a marriage agency in Kiev and start making dates. Get to know the girls through online correspondence first, connect on something like Skype and see how the chemistry goes. Always try to imagine how they might adapt to life where you are living.

I must say that many of Ukrainian women love their country and it’s difficult for them to stay away from home forever. But there are always the exceptions. Like everywhere else there are people who have a sense of adventure and want to try living elsewhere, especially North America.

At some point you are going to want to actually meet. If at all possible I would recommend taking more than a month to stay in the Ukraine. This way you can get a better understanding about what the country is like and also take some of the time pressure off yourself. There are going to be cultural differences so by going through the marriage agency you will be able to get some insights from the match makers who understand both cultural perspectives.

The right Ukrainian girl is someone who has decided she does want to go abroad. If she has worked hard at perfecting her English then that means she is serious about getting to know the culture more. It shows that she has a genuine interest in living in an English speaking country and won’t have a communication problem.

The Ukrainian dating dilemma: to pay or not to pay for women from Ukraine?

Dear Friends,

Every Western man who looks for a wife from Ukraine has heard of this intercultural difference, namely: Ukrainian women expect that Western men pay everywhere and for everything. From time to time, I get messages from my readers who ask me why Ukrainian women always expect to be invited by men. The answer is this is the special character feature of our culture and mentality.

It is not a serious problem for some men; however, there is a number of Western men who do not know how to deal with this problem and they just feel used. Of course, I can understand these feelings of Western men because I’m familiar with the Western culture. The dating and relationship process runs very differently here than in Ukraine. And that’s normal because we have very different cultures.

The problem is that Western men who look for a Russian or/and Ukrainian woman for marriage learn too little about the culture, traditions as well as history of the home country of their future wife; therefore, they have some difficulties to understand what exactly Ukrainian women expect from them.

On the other hand, Ukrainian women often mistakenly assume that Western men are similar to their Ukrainian and Russian partners and expect the same things from Western men, which Ukrainian men give them in the relationship.

Here are the two basic and most important Ukrainian dating rules that every Western man has to know:

1)Ukrainian women are VERY DIFFERENT from Western Ladies:

Western women are very different from us when it comes to their dating behavior, namely: they prefer to pay themselves while dating men. American, English or German women are more independent and emancipated than Russian and Ukrainian women. For example, this is very common in Germany that women and men pay separately at restaurants, cinemas or cafes.

Honestly, this intercultural difference was a shock for me when I came to Germany nine years ago. Meanwhile, going Dutch became normal for me but I am not a fan of this type of thing. As for me, the variety in the ways of paying is more pleasant than going Dutch. If I see that my man is ready to pay for me and wants to share with me what he has, it makes me happy and, of course, I want to share my finances with him in this case, too. What I want to say is that we can take turns to pay for things and it doesn’t have to be only him or me, who pays.

2)Ukrainian society is VERY TRADITIONAL:

The Ukrainian and Russian people still live in a traditional society, namely: the man is supposed to be the head of the family and he is the breadwinner. The woman’s role is being a good and caring wife, the mother and keeper of the family hearth.

Therefore, children in Ukraine and Russia are (still) brought up traditionally, too. Ukrainian girls learn from their mothers that men pay for them. On the other hand, they learn also that the family (their husbands and children) is the most important thing in life.

Ukrainian women think men should always pay for them, yes, they take it for granted.  Sometimes, women do not say “thank you” to the man because they think the man pays anyways. That can hurt men because they think women are only after their money, which is not always true.

My tips how to deal with this Ukrainian dating issue:

1)Learn more about the Ukrainian culture, family values and female and male roles in dating and relationships

2)This issue is very delicate. You should talk with the woman about this issue carefully and compare together the differences of Ukrainian and Western dating behavior.

3)If you want to find and date a Ukrainian woman you should be ready to pay for everything (or at least in the beginning while dating). It is a part of our mentality and women want to feel like princesses while being invited by a man. However, I have to say that the Ukrainian society has changed a little bit in the recent years and women have become more independent and emancipated. Going Dutch becomes common for Ukrainian ladies (but very slowly) and they adjust to the new rules of the dating game.

Ukrainian Dating: What The Agencies Will Never Tell You

Dear Friends,

you definitely know that the dating world is a crazy place. With all of the expectations and unsolicited advice from family and friends, men simply don’t know where to start. If you want to take all of the guessing out of dating, you should date Ukrainian woman. Many people think that in order to date a Ukrainian woman, you must go through an agency. Although going through an agency can help you, there are a lot of things that these agencies will not tell you.

Here are some Ukrainian dating tips that the agencies will never tell you.

1) Family Orientation

Ukrainian women are very family oriented and agencies like to play to this aspect. Men dream of finding a woman that will take care of their children, home and cherish the traditions of family. But Ukrainian women are not slaves. They are not going to just give and give without needing attention or things for themselves. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you are getting a robot. Ukrainian women have their own views and will have needs just like every other woman.

2) Don’t Have Overly Hyped Expectations

Ukrainian women make great wives and great mothers, but there are bad apples in the bunch just like every other ethnicity. Don’t expect every Ukrainian woman that you meet to be a cookie cutter version of your fantasy.

3) You’re Not Alone

There are a lot of men who are vying for Ukrainian women. These women have very strong personalities and will choose their own man if they like him. Just because you take her out for dinner or buy her a piece of jewelry doesn’t mean that she is your woman.

4) Understanding Ukrainian Women

Ukrainian women don’t require some kind of guide for decryption, but you will need to use some common sense when trying to understand their point of views. They are not perfect and neither are you. Try to be understanding of their feelings and how your actions will affect their feelings.

5) Dating Agencies Are Mediums

A dating agency is responsible for getting you a date. They are not responsible for keeping the two of your together. That is your responsibility. Just because you have one date with a Ukrainian woman doesn’t mean that you can take her for granted. You need to work to keep her interested.

6) What Do You Know About This Woman?

Many men fall into the pit of getting hung up on the visual of a wedding and starting a family without actually getting to know the girl. If you don’t know the intricacies of a Ukrainian woman, the relationship is not going to last. Don’t jump into a relationship when you don’t really know the woman.

7) Ukrainian culture

Knowing the culture of a Ukrainian woman will give you the ability to make strides in finding a place in her heart. Do the research needed to understand how her culture will view your actions and what is expected of you to start a relationship.

Tips on How to Date a Ukrainian Lady With Kids

Dear Friends,

Western men who are considering Ukrainian dating might wonder why beautiful single mothers might look for a man abroad:

Part of this concern is due to the fact that many single Ukrainian mothers in their early to mid 30s are stunning women who seem like they should be able to find a husband in their own home town. Understanding the facts about the Ukraine can help clear up some of the confusion about this situation.

As a Ukrainian woman, I know that the competition is strong. Many Ukrainian women are beautiful and many younger women do not yet have any children. This factor makes it challenging for single mothers to remarry.

Ukrainian dating is different from other countries due to the fact that many of the women are stunning and numerous younger women who are not yet mothers are available. Men in the Ukraine are more likely to prefer dating a younger woman who has no children than a single mother. The chances of a single mother in her mid 30s remarrying a man in the Ukraine is very low.

For western men who are considering the option of dating a Ukrainian woman, the chances of having the opportunity to find a young single mother who is available is much higher than finding a younger woman who is not yet a mother.

Many men feel that they look younger than their age and might try getting involved with a younger woman in her 20s. The problem is that western men are likely to have more competition for single women in their 20s from the Ukraine than young single mothers in their early to mid 30s. Young Ukrainian women are often preferred by Ukrainian men, so western men will compete with local men for their affections. This higher competition makes it challenging to start dating.

On the other hand, men who are willing to meet and date a single mother in her 30s are likely to find that the woman is still available and is more willing to consider dating someone from another country. These women are unlikely to marry in their hometown and are more likely to look abroad for companionship.

Taking a chance on dating a Ukrainian single mother can result in a long-lasting relationship. These women are often available and more willing to consider dating western men than younger women who have never married and do not have children.